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I Could Not Believe It : The 1979 Teenage Diaries of Sean DeLear - Sean DeLear (used) Gothic unashamedly unmasked Autistic life withPaperback, 2023, Sean DeLear International A remarkable time capsule of Simi Valley, 1979, written before the author would become one of LAs most influential artists of subsequent decades. When Sean DeLear died prematurely in Vienna in 2017, his friends discoveredamong other treasuresan extensive diary kept at the age of fourteen. Still living with his Christian parents in the notoriously racist Los Angeles suburb of Simi Valley, Sean wrote almost